Life that demands a response

There has been an urgency in my spirit this whole last week and thoughts have formed in my mind that I can longer suppress. They need to be expressed or written down.

In different conversations with very different people on different continents I have come to the same conclusion over and over again:

We need to live a life that demands a response!

When people meet me on the streets, at Starbucks, in the Cafeteria or anywhere on campus, does my life demand a response? No, it does not! People are indifferent about meeting me and the things I say. Their lives are not forever transformed.

Why is that?

The only explanation that I can find is that I am not enough with Jesus. His life always demanded a response. People either hated and rejected him or they loved him and accepted his message.

How can people be apathetic about what I say and the way I live my life? It lies in the fact that I am not enough with Him yet because if I were, they could no longer be indifferent.

It is time that people start to either hate me or accept the God of the universe who lives inside of me!

How different would this world look like? This nation? This campus? People would actually live lives that demanded a response because they are constantly with Jesus.

My university should either be loved or hated but not accepted, it should be a thorn in the side of California because the life of this university demands a response.

Am I living this life? No, I am far from it but I desire nothing more than this life that demands a response. Not because I desire a response but because I want to be with Jesus all the time.

Just be! Forget about doing things for him, cease from all my work and just be with him and let him do in me, through me, with me whatever might bring most glory to HIM and His Name!

Let us live this Life that demands a response-the life our Savior lived!

Child for a night

Tonight this exuberant sense of joy overcame me and I just wanted to do something crazy and out of my mind, I was ready for anything. Since shared joy is doubled joy and sharing joy with three other quadruples the joy, I invited three of my dearest friends to join me, not telling them to what mischievous things we would be up tonight.

The four of us slender along the path, when I started running and shouted "catch me if you can," and that is where the fun began. We ran to the soccer field, where we spinned around in circles like crazy till we would fall over each other and then we would lie in the grass and just look up into the sky. It was wonderful.

We lay there like a cross, head to head and looked up into the sky, praising our Maker and the One we love because he loved us first. We prayed, we rejoiced, we worshipped. It was a holy moment and the joy simply overcame me.

I got up and leapt around, danced around, frolicked like a man out of his mind and my friends joined me into this extravaganza. We sang songs about being undignified and unashamed and shouted out our love for Him.

Then we played catch and ran all over the field till there was no more energy left. Well, there was some left and so we pushed each other into the water sprinklers till we were thoroughly drenched.

It was so wonderful, being a child for a night again and not worrying about anything or anyone. Just me, my friends and our Maker!

And you know what?

He smiled at us from Heaven, seeing his children rejoice and be happy.

How do I know?

Well, out here in LA one is lucky to see a few stars, if one sees them at all but tonight. There were hundreds and thousands of stars clearly in the sky, one could no longer count them.

I leave you with a quote from Dante's Paradise

"High phantasy lost power and here broke off;
Yet, as a wheel moves smoothly, free from jars,
My will and my desire were turned by love,

The Love that moves the sun and the other stars."

Embracing the Seasons

This summer I rode up to Berkeley with Bob Martin and Lailani Brim, it was a fun time and we had some great conversations but one stuck out to me and has now come back to the forefront of mind. We were discussing the question: "Why are all the Californian authors so negative and depressing? Why is there so much darkness in their writing?"

We began talking about the fact that there are no real seasons in most part of California, as it is the sunshine state and people all over the world have the idea that it is always summer in California, not only outwardly but also inwardly. But life has seasons and if one denies these, one will suffer greatly when summer is no longer, maybe this was what the Californian authors wrestled with in their writing.

In my own life God has taught me once again to embrace the seasons of my life, as they are a vital and integral part of who I am and what his plan is for my life. Here are some poor reflections on this issue.


Embracing the seasons
Cherishing the change
Living life to its fullest
In the Hardships of Winter

Trees are barren in winter
And eagles don't fly
How cold it is outside
The world seems to stand still

But roots grow deep in winter
And eagles gather their strength
There is a fire gleaming inside
Maybe the world is waiting

Winter teaches us to wait
Our soul learns to trust
A voice says
Slow down-find rest

Embracing winter seems hard
Cherishing pain and sorrow
Life appears to have lost
And death has won

Remember in winter

Spring will come
Life again be bright
But without roots
Life will never last

Freedom

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

This last week God has revolutionized my whole thinking, my whole view of him and it excites me so much that even though I am really tired, I need to write it all down, may it profit you.

It is hard to put into order and it might all seem really confused when you read it but it all makes sense to me now, after having a long conversation with my friend Scott.

God has given man freedom to choose and he has given us Christians a freedom to choose and there is no sin for the Christian when it is done in faith because the law of sin and death does no longer apply to us. Anything done in faith cannot be sin, but...

"For whatever does not proceed form faith is sin." Romans 14:23

So the Christian only sins when he does not act in faith, when he does not desire the God's kingdom and his righteousness first, but rather lives not in faith.

The choice God has given us is like in Steinbeck's "East of Eden" timshel-thou mayest; he gives us freedom to choose and if we choose in faith, he is already guiding our path. He has given us the spirit of adoption and not of fear.

Today, I realized that I had lived in fear of my Heavenly Father, I was constantly afraid to offend him and make a wrong choice when he was actually saying

"All things are permissible (lawful) for me but not all are beneficial (helpful)." 1 Corinthians 6:12

I understood what he meant when he said

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

Luther was right when he talked about the "Freedom of a Christian," we are free to all and yet bound to all. The second part I have been expounding for quite some time in my mind, what it means to be a servant of all but now God is teaching me what it means to be free.

My heart shouts, jumps for you, spins around and jubilee because the perfect love has cast out all fear.

What a beautiful thing it is to realize that

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

All is calm

I hear his voice calling
"It is me, Peter!
Don't you recognize me?"

It is the old familiar voice
The voice that I have heard all my life
A voice so sublime that I stop breathing
When He speaks.

"Step out on the water-
Don't you trust me?
Surely it will hold."

Everything in me wants to run towards him
But I hesitate, what if it is not him?
What if I am imagining all this?
My heart sinks within me.

Again his voice calls, more gently now
"My son, I have been waiting so long-
When will you stop running away from me?"

One last thought but nothing can hold me now
I step out of the boat.
My feet touch the cold water
And I begin to walk.

I call out to him
"I am coming, sweet Lord
Wait for me, I am coming."

The waves are rising high on both sides
Fear rises within me
My eyes lose sight of him in midst of the waves
And I begin to sink.

Desperately I call out to him
"Dear Lord, I want to come,
But I am sinking, please save me."

Through the mist and the darkness
I see a hand reaching out to me.
He takes my hand and pulls me up-
a gentle smile on his lips.

Very near now he whispers
"My son, do you trust me,
will you walk with me wherever I go?"

My eyes rise higher until I see the stars
Then I notice something strange,
They seem to reflect a light
And it comes from him who holds my hand.

Between tears I utter
"Papa, I want to trust,
I want to walk this road with you."

As I look around me
Something has changed.
Everything is silent-
All is calm.

The sweetest voice ever heard says to me
"Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give to you."

Why run?

A friend asked me a question the other day and he was the second friend to ask me that question as of late:

Why are you running away?

If I knew, I would have given an answer but I just did not know.

Running seems like such a good option at first glance but the more you consider it the less attractive it becomes.

Why run?

Why not confront the demons that are hunting me?

Why not deal with the past that seems so dark?

Why not face the future that is looming over the horizon?

Why not step out on the water and walk?

Why run?

Can we ever be certain of anything?

In a discussion with two very wise friends, we came to this conclusion and it seems so true. In this life we can never be certain propositionally but we can be certain positionally.

What does that mean?

We can know that he is God and that we are his children. Be sure that he is in control and that he will catch us when we fall?
Our end is secure, our relationship is sealed but beyond that...

Would it be faith, if we could be absolutely certain, wouldn't it just be obedience?

It is a dreadful thing to step out on the water. It scares me so much. But then I see Jesus and he says:

Why are you running away from me? Step out on the water and walk with me!

Why run, if he calls?

When God speaks

When God speaks~
We should hear it
But what if our hearts
Can no longer hear his voice

Stille~
So schwer zu ertragen
und doch so lebensnotwendig
Wie die Luft zum Atmen
Wie das Wasser zum Trinken

Einsamkeit~
Du bist so allein
und doch so reich umgeben
Leben ohne Menschen
Menschen ohne Leben

When God speaks~
He whispers gently
Screams loudly
Telling silence

Sehnsucht~
Wer kann sie stillen
ohne sie zu ersticken
Feuer voller Hoffnung
Glaube voller Freude

Friede~
Die Seele kommt zu Ruhe
wissend das Du weisst
Erkannt und doch geliebt

When God speaks~
He knows us
Gives answers needed
Never expected responses

Gebet~
Tiefe Gewissheit "Er hört"
Antworten unverstanden
Denoch tief verstanden

Perspektiven~
Träume realisieren
Realität träumen
Denn ER IST

When God speaks~
He speaks
Will I hear
Step out on the water