Why, O my soul

This morning my roommate Andrew read me a little passage from Anselm's Prayer to Christ, since then I have read it again and again. May you be blessed as you read these words and contemplate on the depths of their meaning.


Why, O my soul, were you not there
to be pierced by a sword of bitter sorrow
when you could not bear
the piercing of the side of your Savior with a lance?
Why could you not bear to see
the nails violate the hands and feet of your Creator?
Why did you not see with horror
the blood that poured out of the side of your Redeemer?
Why were you not drunk with bitter tears
when they gave him bitter gall to drink?
Why did you not share
the sufferings of the most pure virgin,
his worthy mother and your gentle lady?

Later on it says...

What shall I say? What shall I do? Whither should I go?
Where shall I seek him? Where and when shall I find him?
Whom shall I ask? Who will tell me of my beloved?
'for I am sick from love'.
'The joy of my heart fails me';
my laughter 'is turned to mourning';
'my heart and my flesh fail me';
'but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever.'
'My soul refuses confort,' unless from you, my dear.
'Whom have I in heaven but you,
and what do I desire upon earth besides you?"
I want you, I hope for you, I seek you;
'to you my heart has said, seek my face';
'your face, Lord, have I sought;
turn not your face from me.'

At then it ends...

Lord, meawhile, let my tears be my meat day and night,
until they say to me, 'Behold your God,'
until I hear, 'Soul, behold your bridegroom.'
Meanwhile, let me be fed with griefs,
andlet my tears be my drink;
comfort me with sorrows.
Perhaps then my Redeemer will come to me,
for he is good;
he is kind, he will not tarry,
to whom be glory for ever. Amen.


From "The Prayers and Meditions of Saint Anselm"